Weaning Babies and Lent

It’s 11:30 at night, and life has been so busy that I’ve had no time to put a proper post together.  So forgive me, if I ramble. 🙁

I’ve been pushing hard to get everything in order before I leave for a 20 year reunion with girlfriends from college.  At the time of planning this trip, we had no idea it would fall in the middle of Lent, but God knows what we need, and maybe I needed a different kind of retreat this Lent.

I also didn’t realize I’d be in the middle of weaning my toddler.  I should have guessed that this little guy would be holding out for as long as possible — I was being a wee bit optimistic about how things were going to go in that department.

So here I am, one week away from a weekend away with friends, and I have a 2-1/2 year old who doesn’t want to call it quits.  I must admit, it has left me a bit conflicted.

We coined a phrase for our sixth child’s first two years of life.  It’s a bit of a joke, but it bears some truth, “What baby wants, baby gets”.  I know some might call us pushovers, but I like to think we’ve grown more compassionate with our little humans below the age of reason.

We are on the verge, though, of our baby becoming a little boy, and with that comes a change in our philosophy:  “Sometimes it’s good to say no”.

Weaning our baby is the time when this philosophy of saying no begins to take a bigger role in our parenting — but it ain’t easy, especially when you love the living daylights out of your baby.

At the same time, I am a big believer in following the baby’s lead when it comes to weaning.  Weaning used to be about circling a date on the calendar and sticking to that date, but now it’s about seeing signs of being ready and jumping on those opportunities to help him make that transition.

This week, I decided to push the weaning a little more and see how he would respond.  I cut out all nursings, except for bed times.  He doesn’t seem to be distraught with the changes, so I know I’m not pushing it too fast.  So yay for progress!

The truth is, he is not likely to be weaned of nighttime nursing before I leave, but John has successfully put him down for a few naps and he eats quite a bit when I’m not around — so I know he’ll be just fine.

I, however, may be a bit uncomfortable — but it’s Lent, so there’s that “offering it up” that will come in handy next week.

But what does all this talk of weaning have to do with Lent?  Well, a lot.  In some ways, Lent is about weaning ourselves off of (mostly) good things for the sake of a better thing.

Living this process with my own baby has helped give me insight into my own Lenten journey.

As I’ve been working to distract my baby from his desire to nurse, I have found that the most effective way to help him is to find ways to remain close to him, that don’t include nursing.

Nursing has been my “go to” for over two years now.  Baby crying: nurse him.  Baby sad: nurse him.  Baby Hungry:  nurse him. You get the idea.   This week, I have been trying to find other ways to comfort him, without nursing him.

What doesn’t work is to say no and be super firm and stoic with him.  What he needs is for me to love him through this transition.  What he needs is human touch and compassion.  What he needs is for me to help him by filling that void with something good.

One of the good things we are trying to fill it with is time with John.  The truth is, I’m kind of my little guy’s world, but I need to help make room in his world for his dad, too.

It’s hard to say no to my little guy, but I know ultimately it’s good for him to make that transition to include his dad in this world of his.

Speaking of “good things”, we are saying no to a lot of good things this penitential season of Lent.

Just like weaning a child, If you just try to give up a bunch of things, but don’t replace it with a better thing, that void will make your commitment that much more difficult to keep.

The Church doesn’t recommend that we fast and sacrifice alone.  The Church knows that we are too weak to let things we love go without replacing it with something good.  That is why prayer and fasting go hand in hand during Lent.

Prayer is the lifeline that helps us get through the suffering of giving up things we like or even love, for the sake of something better.

Prayer is a way to stay close to God so we will have the strength to carry on.  In Lent and in life, prayer is essential.

If you leave prayer out of the picture, you will miss out on a very important purpose of Lent:  growing closer to Christ.  We grow closer to Christ through prayer and we gain the strength to say no through prayer.

The truth is, we can become too dependent on things, even good things,  and they can hold us back from a deeper relationship with Christ.  During Lent, we say no to good things so that we can reorder them in our hearts and put Christ first again.

At confession, we say something to God.  “You are all good and deserving of all my love”.  Do you really believe God is all good?  If not, you need to spend more time with Him in scripture, in the sacraments, and in adoration and get to know how Good He really is this Lent.

If you don’t increase your prayer time, I doubt you’re going to make it through this Lent having gained what you really desire:  to be so full of God that you don’t struggle to put Him first anymore.

When we reorder our heart, and put Him first again, we will find a joy and peace that surpasses all understanding.  So what are we so afraid of?

Putting God first doesn’t mean we won’t love the people around us and it doesn’t mean we’ll turn into boring stiffs — on the contrary, we’ll love them better because we’re not looking for them to complete us.

We’ll be more interesting because we’ll stop pretending to be what we are not and we’ll begin to be the amazing person God created us to be.

If we do Lent well, we will stop looking to people or things to fill that hole in our hearts that can only be filled by God.

Everything will be ordered again, and we will gain a peace and harmony within our souls that only come when we’ve done the work of putting first things first again.

God is waiting to bring you closer to Him this Lent.  He is waiting to fill that void that giving up those things has left in your heart.

Let’s just be honest, you may already have failed at keeping your Lenten resolutions, but if you’ve fallen, don’t leave it at a big, fat fail.  Just get back up and begin again.

Besides, the humility that comes in falling just might be the thing you need to stop relying on your own strength and begin to rely on God’s.

Let those things go — just for the next few weeks — and see the good things that God has in store for you.  This is your chance.

You have the grace of this season, the love of God, and the rest of us cheering you on.  I hope and pray that you find what you’ve really been thirsting for this Lent.

Please pray for me and I’ll be praying for you, too.

Sharing over at Caroline’s & Kelly’s