Embrace Your Femininity…Don’t Erase Your Femininity.

I know that we live in a world that doesn’t always appreciate the contribution that women have made to culture and to history — but frankly, that doesn’t erase the beauty and gift that women are to the world.

Yes, men are a gift as well — but they are a different kind of gift — and perhaps the best way to have a more profound appreciation for both sexes is to recognize those differences and embrace them.

To be a woman is to be a creature entirely different from a man, so much so, that many a philosopher has explored the beautiful differences that go all the way down to soul.

St. Thomas Aquinas observed the truth that men and women will maintain their masculinity and femininity even into Heaven — which points to the simple truth that those differences go way beyond sexual organs and the need for reproduction — these differences go down to the very soul of the person.

There is an ancient principle known as anima forma corporals: the soul is the formative principle of the body.  In other words, your body is a manifestation of your soul, and biological differences reveal differences that exist in the soul as well.

Just as the female body is radically different from a man, those differences convey a deep and hidden truth about the differences in the female soul.

One could very reasonably argue, the biological differences in a woman’s body indicates a difference that goes all the way down to the soul — and that those differences make her place in culture vitally important, as well.

St. Edith Stein wrote much on this topic, and in many ways her work is a bit revolutionary because it supports this idea of a “female” soul.

“However, it follows from the Thomistic Principle of anima forma corporis that such a spiritual characteristic exists. Of course, woman shares a basic human nature, but basically her faculties are different than men;  there a differing type of soul must exist as well”.

Edith Stein. Essays on Women p.45

There was a time when I felt the pressure to behave more like a man. I began to define success in more masculine terms.

I even began to try to erase or downplay those beautiful things that made me a woman because they felt like more of a burden than a gift — but fortunately I had a faith and a prayer life that helped me to understand that it was a gift to be a woman!

After all, God made us, male and female, and it is by embracing what makes us different that I think we can discover what makes us truly happy.

So best word of advice to any young woman is to embrace those differences — don’t erase those differences. Learn about what makes a woman unique and open yourself up to being a sign of contradiction in the world.

Just look at Mary. She was a humble “nobody” from a tiny town of no significance — but simply saying “yes” to God’s plan for her life and her womanhood began the beautiful story of God becoming man and dying for us so we might live for all eternity in Heaven with Him.

By embracing the fruitfulness that God was asking of her, she became the Mother of God, the Theotokos. She became not the Queen of a temporary kingdom, but Queen of Heaven and Earth.

But maybe you look at your own life and don’t see anything as extraordinary as becoming the Mother of God — true only one woman will ever have that privilege — but think for a moment about the beauty of the feminine soul.

Think of the innate ability of every woman to nurture another soul — not just nurture the body of a baby in her womb –which is frankly pretty dang amazing in itself. But that gift of femininity also helps women to nurture the souls of the people around her, too — and in so doing, her own soul thrives.

Again a woman’s body, indicates a difference that goes all the way to the soul — and her body’s ability to nurture and grow a baby, to feed that same baby so they might thrive — ought to wake her up to her God-given ability to do that for the people around her as well.

A woman has a gift to see the “potential” in others and she has an innate sense of what that soul before her needs in order to thrive — and perhaps just as important — the willingness to sacrifice to help that person thrive!

How beautiful is the female heart that hasn’t allowed the coldness of the world to pollute her own soul. How beautiful the way she can receive others and especially God into her soul.

Truly, there is no greater sense of hospitality than inviting another human being into her very body — knowing the pain and suffering that will be part of that joy — but even after her child-bearing years that same sense of hospitality enables her to nurture the souls of the people around her in profound ways.

This gift of the feminine soul has often been referred to as spiritual motherhood — and in real and profound ways she can discover a fruitfulness in her life by helping other souls to grow, mature and do beautiful things with their lives.

Women have a very special way of seeing the whole person, and not just the bottom line — but she must fight to resist the world telling her that she must change in order to be “successful” — when being “successful” means attaining titles, wealth and influencer status, to the detriment of the people around her.

A woman has to fight against what the world is telling her she ought to be in order to embrace the woman God created her to be — but I truly believe that in embracing her femininity, she will begin to discover a lasting peace and joy that will not falter, even in times of trials.

I’ve seen it in my own life and know many faithful women who have experienced that freedom, too. There is so much freedom in not caring what the world says you ought to be and instead embracing the woman you were meant to be.

So much freedom!

If you want to know what exactly your gift of femininity is meant to bring out in you and in the people around you, then might I suggest you spend time in adoration allowing God to reveal that beautiful woman He had in mind from the very moment He created you!

That woman is a fearsome creature to behold — equal in dignity and worth to any man — but oh so different!

I hope you take the time to get to know God, and in so doing, to know that woman He created you to be.

Then I hope you dare to forget what the world is telling you that you ought to be and move forward with determination to be that unique Saint God created you to be.

Be that woman in the world, and get ready to do beautiful things that perhaps only God will see, but matter so much — in time and for eternity.

What the world needs now is women who are not afraid to be women and men who dare to be men. We need to understand just how important simply living out our identity can be for the people and the world around us.

“The hour is coming, in fact has come, when the vocation of women is being acknowledged in its fullness, the hour in which women acquire in the world an influence, an effect and a power never hitherto achieved. That is why, at his moment when the human race is undergoing so deep a transformation, women imbued with a spirit of the Gospel can do so much to aid humanity in not falling”.[1] 

-Vatican II message to women. 1965-

In the words of St. Joan of Arc….

“Go forward bravely.  Fear Nothing. Trust in God. All will be well”.