Why I’m Always Late and Other Thoughts on Lent

Well, we’re two days into Lent and so far, so good. How about you?

One of my resolutions for Lent came on a Friday, a few months back, when my 6 year old turned to me as we shuffled into the “cryroom/confessional/people trying to avoid the shame of everybody knowing they’ve arrived late” section and asked me, “Why are we always late?”

Doh! It was a perfectly valid question — one to which I had no valid response — and so I just stared into those little brown eyes and replied, “We’re not always late”.

Which is technically true.

We are not always late. On most Sundays, we manage to get to Mass on time — when we have a child serving Mass, that increases the likelihood of maybe even early — but I have very little to do with that, as John almost always drives and he provides at least 3 warning calls to make that happen.

Often on a Sunday, there is much scrambling, breakfast not happening, and perhaps even a wee bit of yelling — which does result in us arriving on time — but it is not exactly ideal!

The truth is I’m not the only one who can’t get their stuff together on a Sunday morning, but I’m also not the one helping to get people out the door on time.

At best, I’m not the last to the car, at worst, I’m running around like a chicken with her head cut off wondering why I can’t get it together.

In many ways, it is incredibly humbling to always be late to Mass — and for many years, I have seen the value in knowing I’m a bit of a mess — but there is also a part of me that knows I can do better in this department.

There is also a part of me that knows my children are watching me, and do I really want to set such a bad example for my kids — especially when it comes to getting to Mass on time?

The truth is, I know God appreciates that I try to get my kids to Mass during the week. I know He sees the effort of finding shoes and corralling kids and driving sometimes half an hour to get to Mass.

Furthermore, I know that He loves me and I know He is merciful — and because I know all of those things, I’ve never really bothered worrying too much about getting to Mass on time during the week.

Is it sinful? No, not sinful, but it just might be bordering the venial side of the sin of presumption. What exactly is presumption? The Baltimore Catechism sums is up rather nicely.

What is presumption? Presumption is a rash expectation of salvation without making proper use of the necessary means to obtain it.

Baltimore Catechism, #1183

Based on that definition, I am objectively speaking, not sinning by being late to Mass. Having said that, any behavior that is not “sinful” but nonetheless setting a bad example for my kids ought to be avoided. For this reason, I knew it was a resolution I needed to make this Lent.

Lent isn’t just about avoiding sin, it is also about becoming more of the Saint God created us to be — and though, I know Saints like John Paul II were infamously late for meetings and obligations because of running into a chapel to pray for too long, he wasn’t late for Mass.

So, alas, I can not use the Saints as an excuse for my tardiness to Mass.

Perhaps you struggle with being late, too? If so, I completely understand the challenges we face to change this part of ourselves. It’s not easy. Some might say it would take a miracle to change this aspect about ourself, but grace is real and if we want to change something about ourselves, no better time than Lent to do just that!

So, my Lenten resolution includes one simple principle: God first, everything else second. It’s a good motto to live by. It’s especially good because what will likely happen when I put getting to Mass a priority over, say, any number of distractions that keep me from getting out that door, I will likely find everything else falls into place more peacefully throughout my day.

I am guessing that this simple little resolution will have positive ripple effects in the rest of my life. More importantly, as simple as it is, this little offering is one way I can say, “Jesus, You Matter in my life.” This can be like a little dandelion that child plucks from the field and presents to somebody they love.

I want to be little. I want to offer this little something to Jesus and say, “here you go. It may just be a dandelion, but a dandelion will have to do”.

Besides, if the Saints have taught us anything, it’s that we must become more like little children — not less — if we want to become Saints. We have to want to be “like a child” — that innocent, trusting in God, miracle-expecting child referred to in scripture.

 And (Jesus) said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 18:3

So let us become more like children this Lent. Let us grow to become more like the Saints we were created to be — and let’s also try to be merciful with ourselves and the people around us, as we struggle to be better.

It’s not easy.

A blessed Lent to us all.

P.S. If you want to know just how difficult it is for us “time-benders” watch the video below. I just kept thinking, “finally, somebody who understands exactly what I’m struggling with”. ha, ha!