How to Deal With Turkeys

I love getting outdoors — with all the fresh air, lovely scents and amazing beauty — honestly, there are few things as restorative as time outdoors surrounded by the beauty one encounters in nature.

But anybody who has spent any time outdoors, also has to acknowledge that the rewards of getting outdoors, has mixed in with it the hazards of stinging insects, biting animals, sunburn, dehydration — I could go on, but I won’t.

The point is, it’s not always going to be a pleasant experience and I’ve learned to accept that these nuisances serve as great reminders that we’re not in Paradise, yet.

I guess you could say I have learned to make peace with the hazards of getting outdoors — that is, until recently.

Those of you who follow my Instagram stories know that we’ve had a wild turkey that seems to have adopted us as his own, a thorn in our side to chase after me and my kids and make us retreat indoors until he’s bored with us.

Imagine Satan taking the form of a turkey, and you just about have the right picture of this turkey.  He’s aggressive, he’s scary, and frankly he’s down right ugly.

When he first showed up, I figured flailing my arms and running straight for him would make him leave, but instead of running the other way, he started charging at me.  What kind of devilry was this?

And after one long day of battling the turkey,  I headed off for my 3rd floor balcony, and lo and behold, I found him waiting  on my railing — just waiting to bludgeon me, or so it seemed.

Apparently, it was mating season when he first showed up, so we figured he would find a lady turkey and run off into the sunset with her — never to be seen or heard of again.

Hope sprang eternal.

After a week of bothering us, he seemed to be gone for good.  Hallelujah!  We thought we had finally gotten rid of him, but, alas, he returned again yesterday. 🙁

Not only did he return, but he seemed to have grown exponentially in only a few weeks time.  Perhaps he never found that lady turkey, because he also seemed to be in a worse mood than before.

In fact, at one point yesterday, I was running to the office to grab a pen and I heard desperate pounding and the most awful blood-curdling screams coming from our back door.

Apparently, my five year old had gone out to pick up a turkey feather with the little guy and they locked themselves out — only to find the turkey was fast on their trail and had cornered them on the steps.

Clearly I wasn’t stopping to grab my camera and document the moment (though that would have been better for you all), so you can’t fully understand the scariness of the moment.

I inserted a few visuals to give you a better picture of the scariness of the moment.

I managed to slooowly open that door, without knocking them straight into the arms of that turkey and I became the hero of this story.  Hip-hip-hooray!

Well, at least my five year old thought I was a hero when I ushered her safely into the house and then grabbed a garden hoe and chased after that turkey.

Okay, actually I ran about 5 steps before I thought better of facing that turkey — but still, there was real heroism on display for those 5 seconds, people!

You know, that darn turkey got me thinking.

Fear is a big topic of conversation in Christian circles.  Jesus repeatedly told us in the Bible to not be afraid. One of the major themes of one of my favorite Saints, Pope John Paul II’s pontificate was, “Be not afraid”.

Many amazing people have written about the need to face our fears.  I’ve even written my own post about it here.

The point is, I know that we need to face our fears.  Absolutely, we do.  But some fears are there for a good reason — fear can actually be a good thing.

The question becomes, when do we face those fears head on and when do we realize that those fears are meant to protect us.

We need wisdom to know the difference between the fears that we need to overcome and the ones that are there for good reason, and that wisdom comes from the Holy Spirit.

Whenever we find ourselves afraid, we need to examine that fear and weigh it. Is that fear keeping us from something beautiful — or is it protecting us from evil?

You know, there have been movements in various evangelical circles to try to raise fearless kids.  I think that the idea is a good one, but the truth is, there is something wrong with the person who never feels afraid.

We aren’t called to be fearless.  We are called to be courageous.  Fear is a regular part of life, and it presents an opportunity to  examine our fears, and either heed them or overcome them.

In other words, fear can help to steer us in the right direction.  If I’m walking in an alley at night, and I feel afraid, that might keep me more aware, motivate me to move faster and possibly avoid the alley if at all possible.

More than just encouraging our kids to be fearless, I think we need to encourage them to be courageous in the midst of fear and prayerful in knowing the best way to approach their fears.

For me, I attempted to face that darn turkey a few times.  I thought if only I face that thing, and stare it straight in the eyes it would get scared and run away, never to return.  But what I’m finding is that’s not how turkeys work.

Part of examining our fears is looking at the thing, for what it is, not what we want or imagine it to be.

When it came to that turkey, I determined that I will keep a healthy distance from that bird.  The nature of that bird was to be aggressive and no wishful thinking was going to change that about it.

I guess what I’m trying to say, it sometimes you need to have healthy boundaries.  This video here illustrates a healthy boundary with a turkey — a nice wall with an opening I can shut quickly.  I mean, check out those killer instincts.

That turkey is a great reminder of something that also rings true for some of the people in our lives.  There are some people who have hurt us — far more than a turkey ever could — and the truth is, we need to establish healthy boundaries with them, too.

And people aren’t turkeys, and we shouldn’t just write them off like we would a turkey.   Difficult relationships are definitely worth fighting for, but that doesn’t mean we should allow the hurting to continue.

We are called to love difficult people, and the good news is we can love somebody and establish healthy boundaries at the same time.  For our sake and for theirs it is important to expect civil behavior and to not just allow them to act like, well turkeys, around us.

There’s a popular phrase, “Hurt people, hurt people”.  People who strike out at us or hurt us in words or deeds — most often, they were hurt themselves somewhere along the line and they just can’t pull themselves out of the cycle of hurt.

I’m not saying that excuses their actions, but what I am saying is sometimes it’s helpful to understand that they are coming from a place of pain.

It just might helps us to forgive them, but it also acknowledges that allowing them to continue to hurt is not good for anybody — not for them or us — so we need healthy boundaries.

Don’t underestimate the grace that just might poor into a toxic situation when you take a step back and pray and sacrifice for somebody you don’t like very much, all the while expecting behavior that is respectful of your dignity and theirs.

Ironically, a healthy distance is exactly what allowed me to appreciate the beauty of that turkey and sometimes it is exactly what is needed to once again see the beauty of a difficult person in your life.

Even my daughter, who was scared of that turkey when it got aggressive and too close for comfort, could see the beauty of this creature when we she had a safe distance from it.

Yep, healthy boundaries can be a very good thing.

Here’s to establishing those boundaries and to facing the troublesome relationships in our lives with courage, with boldness, and with love.

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

~Winston Churchill~

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.

~Mark Twain~

 

 

 

Sharing over at Kelly’s.