How to Pray, Why to Pray & Books I’m Currently Using For Morning Prayer

Prayer isn’t just a good thing, in many ways, it’s everything.

Prayer does for the soul what breathing does for the body — it is essential.  The truth is we were made for prayer, but that doesn’t necessarily make it easy.

Prayer takes effort, patience and trust that God is working — especially when you can’t feel God’s presence or wonder if He’s even there.

Our prayer life can be a bit of a mystery at times — incredibly hard to gauge, because God is often working below the surface in ways we may only understand later.

It takes faith to put aside your doubts and come before God and say, “Lord, here I am.”, but that leap of faith is exactly where something beautiful begins in your heart.

Slowly a relationship begins to build.  Slowly, God will change you, if you remain faithful to meeting Him every day.

Slowly you will see sins rooted out and love becoming more activated in your heart.

For most of us the St. Paul lighting bolts moment just isn’t going to happen, so have faith in the process of getting to know God and being known by Him.

There is always the next peak to aim for — and sometimes the fall to recover from — but through it all, there is a humility gained in meeting the God of the Universe and in knowing that He is eagerly waiting to meet you, too.

There is no wrong way to meet God.  In fact, God relates differently to each soul, which is why nobody can ever tell somebody else exactly how to pray.

What I can say is that the only mistake you can make in prayer is to not do it.  That’s it.

As long as you keep trying and being open to God’s mysterious ways you will make “progress” in prayer.

Prayer is a union of two hearts and it taps into the greatest love story the world has ever known: God who became Man and suffered unthinkable pain so that we could live with Him in Paradise.

Prayer is tapping into that love story, receiving that Love and returning that love to God and those He has placed in our path.

Imagine this:  the God of the Universe is waiting for you to show up in prayer.  He has a “slot” set aside just for you. Name any other appointment in your day that could compare to that?

But how do you start?  Here’s a few thoughts.

Start with morning prayer.  Begin your day with God and everything else just seems to work out as it should.

There are many other types of prayer we could discuss, but I think morning prayer is essential for making all those other forms of prayer more fruitful.

Before I get into the nitty gritty, I have to say one thing about “dryness” in prayer.

Most people experience dryness in prayer.  I would define it as a “lack of feeling” or even “discomfort” in prayer.

I am no expert, but what I have found is that God is working here and you need to just stay faithful to whatever commitments you have made for prayer, no matter the dryness that comes.

Instead of running from that dry time of prayer, lean in and allow God to work there.

A very good spiritual director assured me that the important thing was to keep praying and not give up based on my feelings of “nothing happening”. Thank goodness for good spiritual directors!

That is exactly what I have done and I can honestly say I know God is working in the dryness.  So don’t lose heart.

If my prayer is especially dry, I remind myself of a simple truth, “In order for wood to be transformed into a blazing fire, it first needs time to become dry”.  

Somehow that helps and I just keep moving forward.

Also, sometimes going to confession helps with dryness, and sometimes starting with your favorite song, like Matt Maher’s, Lord I Need You (Oh, that’s a good one)can help to stir up feelings of love in your heart.

At the end of the day, warm fuzzies are not the goal.  Fidelity to God and loving Him, regardless of our feelings, is the ultimate goal.  

As an aside, on mornings where my prayer has felt especially dry, I have noticed little insights or God’s loving movements in my heart at unexpected moments in the day. I know those moments are happening because I was faithful to my morning prayer.

So just remain faithful and leave the rest in God’s hands.

Okay, now on to some more specifics.

Here’s a simple overview of what morning prayer looks like lately: Every morning I get up (almost never the same time)I make myself a cappuccino and I go to my little prayer corner in my room (or outside in the summer).

I set my 30 minute timer on my phone and I make myself available for God in that time.  I try to be as free of distractions as I can be, and leave the rest to God.

Sometimes diapers need changed or fights erupts and I deal with them and get back to my prayer.  I don’t reset the timer.  I just give God 30 minutes as best as I can.

This link is a good preliminary look at the basics of prayer.  There are lots of other resources, but it’s a good overview.

When to pray:  The first available time you have in your day.  I don’t set my alarm every day, especially in the summer, but the first thing I do is get up and, grab my coffee and start my day with prayer.

How long to pray:  Start with 10-15minutes a day.  Set the timer and just do it.  If you begin to feel like you could stretch yourself, slowly add more time in 5 minute intervals.

Ideally you should aim for 30 minutes of morning prayer and not to exceed one hour for lay people.

There are exceptions, but in general it is actually possible to pray too much and thereby actually neglect the duties you have to your family.

Prayer should serve your vocation and shouldn’t be in competition with it.  So come up with a reasonable amount of time and try to keep that commitment.

The Rosary, Divine Mercy Chaplet, etc…are different deovitonals that are beautiful and you can add to that morning prayer commitment, but they shouldn’t replace it.

Make morning prayer every day the priority.  Then, I would say Mass a few times a week or even daily (obviously Sunday Mass is required) and then add the other devotions as you can find the time.

A quote I like to keep in mind hangs over the door of a chapel nearby, “Prayer takes time and the Saints pray and do more in less time”.  

Give that time to God and He’ll give it back to you in countless ways throughout your day.

How to pray:  This changes all the time, but lately I have begun by looking up the readings of the day (the Mass readings) and then finding them in my Bible and trying to let them really soak into my soul.

The second you feel God pressing on your heart or a lifting of your thoughts up to God, let go of the reading and just take time to speak words of love to God and to receive them.

Yes, I do have an app that also has the daily readings, but I have been loving holding a real Bible in my hands. For me, it just seems more prayerful than praying on my phone.

I can’t explain it, but God is present in a way that He just isn’t in my iPhone app.  Plus, if my kids come and see me praying with a Bible it’s a better example than if they see me intently staring at my phone.

This one pictured above is from Blessed is She and Sunday Visitor.

Speaking of commentaries, find a good one to help you draw some insights from the daily readings.  This is especially helpful if you are experiencing a time of dryness.

Also, I have found inspiring stories of Saints to be really helpful. They make me want to be a better person, and they also push me to move beyond my own tendencies towards comfort and mediocrity.

The Saints are there to teach us, to guide us and to cheer us on to the finish line.  Get to know them.

Finally, these books below have been a nice little springboard into deeper prayer lately. Father Phillipe is still alive and you might even attend one of his talks or retreats.  Good stuff!

Obviously I could go on and on, but the last thing I would say is to be careful not to make this solely a mental exercise.

Use these resources to keep the conversation going with God, but allow time for silence.  

Even if it’s uncomfortable, don’t fill your time with busy mental activity or a bunch of words.

Give God space to get a word in edgewise.  Rest in Him.  Be Patient.  Allow silence some space, and ultimately remember that God does’t love us solely with words.

Sometimes He loves us in silence and stillness — the same way a mother lovingly holds her child as he is drifting off to sleep.  Allow yourself to just be loved by Him.

Just begin.  Meet Him.  Set your appointment and keep it.  Truly, you won’t regret making that time for God in your day.