Once Upon a Time in Melaka a.k.a. Making the Case for Pilgrimage

Technically, John and I made our first family pilgrimage to Rome when our oldest daughter was still in utero.

Understandably, our life with littles quickly transitioned from world travels to beach travels — and somewhere along the way, we began to lose sight of the importance of pilgrimage.

Maybe it was because I assumed deeming something a “pilgrimage” would bring with it extra sufferings and hardships, and I was barely keeping my head above water with so many littles in the mix, as it was.

Whatever it was, we likely would have kept choosing family vacations over pilgrimages if it wasn’t for an opportunity that John and I had to go to Singapore for work.

At this point in our marriage, we had become great friends with an order of priests who had introduced us to the old Jesuits — the original Jesuits — frankly, the good Jesuits (did I say that out loud? Ha, ha!)

Oh, those early Jesuits were amazing! Their lives were inspiring beyond words, and St. Francis Xavier especially had become a good friend in the early years of marriage and babies.

It just so happened that St. Francis Xavier was originally buried in the Church of St. Paul, in Melaka, Malaysia — only hours from Singapore!

I can’t explain it, but I felt in the depths of my soul that we just had to take a pilgrimage to honor this man who had become a faithful friend in a challenging time of growing into motherhood.

It was more out of a sense of duty that I initiated it, but I am honestly blown away by how much I had underestimated the importance of this trip in my own life.

Looking back, I could see that God was calling us to Melaka to remind me of a few things I had forgotten along the way and to be renewed in my commitment to take on this world as a family.

Frankly, I had begun to forget about the beauty of family life and the beauty of our faith.

It is so easy in our culture to fall into the trap of individualism and pursuing “personal goals” over “family goals”, and maybe I had begun to fall into that trap in my own life, and it had increased my struggles.

This trip to Melaka blew that idea out of the water in so many ways, and I am happy to say that I haven’t looked back since.

Melaka was, without a doubt, one of the most vibrant cities full of one of the most lively Catholic faith communities we had ever encountered.

The mass we attended blew us away. The preaching was inspiring and strong and unapologetic.

And the singing! Everybody was singing and praising God from the depths of their soul and I was like, where are we?!

I walked out of that Mass a changed person. I turned and looked at my crew of kids and began to see them as the best partners in any adventure John and I could ever be on.

No longer did I see the burdens of life with littles (and yes, there are many), I just saw life and color and the beauty of this chaotic life that I had signed up for when I said, “I do” so many years before.

Speaking of an explosion of life, Melaka was an amazing explosion of life and flavors and smells (some good, others not-so-much) like nothing we had ever encountered before.

I learned a lot of things on that short little pilgrimage, and it is why we have decided to make all of our trips a pilgrimage of sorts in recent years.

First of all, Pilgrimage is not about stifling your fun or hanging out like stiffs at a place of worship. Au Contraire, mon frère!

Faith should should make you feel more alive — not less alive — and pilgrimage is about waking you up to the amazing life that is within the grasp of those who learn to cling to Christ — and Christ alone!

Pilgrimage is about letting go of the fear and the control and discovering the amazing life that God has in mind for you.

Pilgrimage has a way of waking you up from your slumber and bringing you back to life.

Perhaps it’s because Pilgrimage is a magnification of life: the sights, the smells, the people, the hunger and thirst and exhaustion, the deliciousness of food and sleep after a long day, the life giving power of laughter and a deeper awareness of how greatly you are loved by God.

Speaking of laughter, oh my goodness did we laugh on this trip!

The first night we went to a little corner restaurant and ate what we thought was chicken (no idea what it really was) and let’s just say none of us were too impressed with the cleanliness of the establishment.

The next night as we walked in the alley behind the restaurant, we saw a guy in shorts washing the plates in the street with a hose! Yikes!

We had two options, laugh it off or get the heebie-jeebies about what diseases we may have been exposed to. We chose to laugh it off (and also choose a better restaurant for our second night).

And then there was the time we decided to jump on a trishaw (bicycle) taxi to get back to our hotel. Problem was we had to go in two trishaws and John decided it would be great to allow our kids to ride on their own.

I had seen one too many Lifetime movies at this point in my life, so I was pretty sure the guy was going to ride off with my kids and we’d never see them again!

But even this little act of faith helped me to stop seeing every stranger as a potential murderer (though that is still my default) and to remember that there are so many good and kind people in the world.

Pilgrimage is also a powerful way to experience the way a man or woman who deeply loves God and neighbor (we can them “Saints”) can transform an entire city with their presence.

Walk through Assisi and you can feel the effect that St. Francis and St. Clare had upon the place they dwelled. The peace is palpable.

I have to say, Melaka — though so much more gritty and chaotic than Assisi — had that same feeling of overwhelming peace.

It is a convicting thing to experience these places that Saints have walked, because I know that God wants to do the same thing through us if we only let Him.

Oh, why don’t we let Him work through us more often!

We also get to know particular Saints better as we walk the places they lived and breathed and shared the Gospel with others.

We call that the communion of Saints, and it means we are a family and have friends to inspire and cheer us on from Heaven.

These moments of encounter with the Saints has left me with a deep and abiding question: Why are we so afraid to let go of fear and control and to allow God to transform us and the spaces around us?

I think it comes down to the fact that we haven’t taken the time to get to know Jesus well enough. You simply can’t love or trust a person that you don’t take the time to get to know.

Ultimately, Pilgrimage is a way to get to know Jesus better and what better reason could you have than that?

So maybe it’s time to make your next trip a pilgrimage. It just might change the way you look at travel — but it most definitely will change the way that you look at Jesus, and if you allow it to, it will change you — and for the better!

Sharing over at Kelly’s