Perhaps It’s Time to Flip Over Some Tables
I begin this post with a bit of trepidation.
The truth is, I don’t want to come down on the wrong side of things, because coming down on the wrong side of things would mean finding myself in a battle against Jesus and His Church — which is not my intention. No Siree!
To be clear, my beef is not, nor will it ever be, with the Church Christ established.
My beef is with the people who are trying to destroy it from within: the abusers, the careerists, the wolves in sheep’s clothing.
I write this after a few days of wrestling with the reality of a Cardinal in the Church who is a verifiable abuser of young children and seminarians. He shall remain nameless.
To be fair, these heinous crimes happened years ago, but they shouldn’t have ever happened.
Men like these, they are nothing new, Jesus turned to the “wolves” of His day, the Scribes and Pharisees who held places of honor in the synagogue, and publicly called them out .
Insert name of the abusers in the Church here, and Jesus’ words really drive home what we’re all thinking. “Hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside, but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and every impurity”.(Matt23.27)
Sadly, you will find these wolves in every denomination, every faith, every public school system — I could go on — but the point is that finding them in the Church is more disturbing because we shouldn’t expect to find them there.
We should be safe in the Church from the abuse of evil men. It should never, ever happen.
I can’t write a post like this without saying this to anybody who ever suffered abuse at the hands of the Church:
I am sorry. We failed you. The Church failed you. It was wrong. Period.
I know that nothing can take back the wrongs that were done to you, but I ask you to forgive us for the part we had to play.
I realize that you might feel dead inside, but Jesus is here to bring you back to life, and I pray that this might be the beginning of that rebirth for you.
As a faithful Catholic, I wonder how do we respond to the news of such evil abuse? Because, darn it, I’m flipping angry about it!
But before we go on a witch hunt, I think we have to take a look at the facts.
I have found this post to be quite helpful. It’s from Psychology Today, written soon after the scandal blow up of 2002. It helped me to put things in proper perspective.
To summarize, here’s a few of the facts that post highlights.
Fact: Only about 4% of the priestly population in 2004 were abusers — in other words, 96% of the priestly population were not abusers.
This was lower than reported abuse by teachers and the general population of all men at the time of the study.
Fact: Abuse in the Catholic Church has gone down dramatically since the 60’s, 70’s and early 80’s.
Sadly, it still happens, but not to the degree it happened then.
It seems that the sexual revolution creeped into the Church and did it’s damage, but measures that the Church has taken in recent years has encouraged pedophiles and abusers to choose other “professions” to find their victims. (Like making movies in Hollywood, running for political office or becoming an influential news anchor. Sorry, not sorry!)
Furthermore, programs like Virtus and the Charter for the Protection of Children as well as the establishment of independent organizations to settle abuse cases (like Cardinal Dolan did in New York) have helped to ensure that the Catholic Church is returning to be one of the safest places for kids. See this post affirming the progress being made.
Fact: You can’t blame this on celibacy. The incidence of abuse among celibate priests was not higher than married clergy in other religions, and therefore thinking the problem is celibacy is just not getting at the root of the problem.
Fact: Over 80% of the victims were post-pubescent boys or young men. In other words, this is not as much an issue of rampant pedophilia as it is an issue of men experiencing same-sex attraction, who were not equipped or refused to live a life of chastity.
To be clear, I am not saying that somebody who has experienced same sex attraction should be necessarily disqualified from the priesthood — no doubt God’s grace is there to help him live a life of chastity — honestly, those are questions for the psychologists and priests who are there to help a seminarian discern God’s call in their life.
The real question must be if a man is willing and/or capable of living out a life of Chastity. All priests — no matter their sexual orientation — are called to the same life of chastity. There is no discrimination here.
Clearly, chastity has to be an integral part of the formation of seminarians if we are to eliminate these abuses in the future.
Clearly, if you can’t or won’t live out a life of chastity, then you shouldn’t be a priest in the Catholic Church!
Fact: Many whistle-blowers existed and were not heeded for years.
Good priests, religious and laity tried to report and stop these abuses from happening. The protocol for reporting was outdated and provided unintended shelter for abusers.
Now, a zero tolerance policy that includes immediate reporting to local police and public reporting of offenders is helping to weed out the abusers and prevent future abuse.
Fact: We are making real progress in protecting children and minors. That is good news.
Fact: Most priests are good men striving to serve and love the people they encounter every day.
I’m going to be honest, I needed to read those facts — probably more than you needed to read them.
I was getting so angry, so upset at the sickos who call themselves Catholics and then do these awful things that it’s enough to want to say, “bye, bye losers. I’m off to find a better church.”
But, If we truly believe Jesus established this Church, then we can’t just leave because of the bad guys — this is not their Church, or even our Church, this is Jesus’ Church and darn it, we need to fight for it!
As I sat down to write this post, a very particular conversation from the gospels came to mind. It was a conversation that took place after people began to leave Jesus, after his sermon on His true presence in the Eucharist.
Jesus turned to Peter and asked him if he was going to leave Him, too.
Peter’s reply is what I feel must also be my response: “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” (John 6:67)
Guys, where else could we go? Jesus in present in the Catholic Church: Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity present. He is Present in a way that He frankly isn’t present anywhere else in the world.
I can’t leave the Catholic Church because I would be leaving Jesus, and I simply won’t abandon Him.
Besides, wouldn’t those pedophiles, abusers and careerists like it if I left? Wouldn’t that make their agenda easier to accomplish? Wouldn’t it?!
So I am here to deliver those wolves in sheeps clothing, those Judases, a very important message — a battle cry I vow to keep.
“This girl ain’t leaving, and she also isn’t going to stand by and watch you try to tear apart the Church that she loves — piece by piece — because you want to make the Church something different than what it has been for the past 2,000 years.”
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I think it might be time to flip over some tables. Who is with me?
It’s time to drain the swamp of the”careerists”, the abusers and those who allowed them to abuse.
Why should we leave? Let’s make them leave and start their own church of sickos, careerists and money-grubbers who care more for themselves than they ever did for protecting and teaching their flock.
Practically speaking, here are little things we can do to make a difference.
Firstly, we need to check ourselves before we wreck ourselves. That’s right, let’s not get all high and mighty and proud till we start to become the very thing we hate. Let’s root out our own pride and sins and try our best to love and protect the people around us
Let’s pray for the conversion of the abusers (not there yet, but I’m trying) and for the healing of those who have been abused (doing that one already).
Secondly, we have to pray for our priests, bishops and the Pope. We have to do this. Prayer works, and don’t think that the prayers of faithful people weren’t a part of unrooting these evil men in our own Church in the first place.
Thirdly, we need to support the good priests, Bishops and Cardinals. Have them over for dinner, encourage them and thank them for being good priests. We need them and they need us.
Fourthly, if you happen to have a bad bishop or cardinal — just being real, people, they’re out there — encourage them to do the right thing with the following methods: Witholding money and letting them know why, being a thorn in their side, and calling them out when they are mistreating the good priests of their diocese.
Be like the widow who won’t rest until they start doing the right thing. That’s very biblical. Jesus shared that parable (Luke 18:4), so don’t be afraid to make some noise.
Finally, don’t blame good priests for not being more verbal from the pulpit. The truth is, most of the abuses happened decades ago, quite often before they even became priests, so its not exactly their responsibility to hash up the past.
Besides, priests are often at the mercy of their bishop — and they could be reassigned or have their faculties removed without due cause, so we may not know what they are up against in their own diocese.
I must end by saying that I have met hundreds of priests and bishops over the course of my 30-something (okay, 40-something) years on this earth and I can honestly say less than a handful of them were “bad” guys. (Other stories for another day).
The bad ones are truly the exception. Having said that, if we could have even a little part in getting rid of one of the bad ones, then we should do it.
We all need to pray and ask God what He wants of us in these matters and then we need to act.
I feel like we have our marching orders, and it’s up to us to fulfill them now.
Godspeed, good people!
11 Comments
kristina
As someone who’s been considering becoming Catholic for four years now, and has worried about this issue a lot, this post was really helpful and encouraging. Thank you!
Moira
Kristina,
Wow, that makes me happy to hear! Truly I owe the Church everything, which is why I know I need to defend Her against the enemies within. This faith is a beautiful, life-giving faith. I hope you do join the Church because we sure would love to have you!
Jenna
I love this post and appreciate all your depth and insight (AND investment in finding the truth) but I take great offense at the drawn ‘conclusion’ that several priests were just gay and not willing to practice celibacy and therefore exercised this weakness out on “young men” or “post-pubescent” boys……that is a a COMPLETE whitewashing of pedophilia, and has NOTHING to do with being gay or having same-sex attraction. In fact, the church has lost me from this obnoxious ignorance more so than the fact that there have been ‘abusers’ hidden in parishes. Again, I love your insight but I can’t stand the subtle msgs made by the church and some Catholics that abusers were abusers because they were gay. Has nothing to do with that.
Totally different subject but the church’s view on gay people is not Christ like, and it comes through when referencing the abuse.
Moira
Jenna,
I can not tell you how much I appreciate this comment. Thank you for making it! It allows me to clarify something truly important.
The majority of the cases of abuse were not with little children, which is why we can’t say the majority of the cases were pedophilia in nature. This does not excuse or lessen the evil, at all! The majority of the cases were boys in their teens and also there were a number of priests who abused seminarians who were not considered “minors” at all. All of these acts were equally evil! Period!
I never said you can’t be a same sex attracted man and be a priest. I did say that the willingness and ability to live a life of chastity should be a pre-requisite of being a Catholic priest. By the way, I believe this is the case for all priests, no matter their sexual orientation.
If we are to stop future abuse, we must acknowledge Chastity is essential! This is not to single out same-sex attracted or “gay” men, but rather to look at the facts and say clearly a priest who can’t or won’t live out chastity is highly likely to abuse another person for their sexual use.
All priests “straight” or “gay” or same-sex attracted are called to the same standards. There is no discrimination here.
For the sake of the safety of children, teens and all men and women we must not allow people who really can’t live this life of chastity, for whatever reason, to remain in active ministry. We have a duty to protect the young people in our Church and we must take it seriously!
Every person has the right to be safe in the Catholic Church and to have the confidence that the Church is taking measures to ensure all of our safety.
I understand the sensitivity of making any one group of people feel bad for their life choices. I don’t want to make anybody feel bad! I do think examining what Christ said about homosexuality and how the Church should treat same sex attracted or even openly “gay” people is an important one. Another post for another day.
Let me say, I truly love and can sympathize with people experiencing same sex attraction. I know God loves them, too!
Thank you for bringing up your concerns, and no doubt, these are important issues.
All the best!
Megan
Hi,
Just in case this helps, for Jenna, or anyone. The church’s view on homosexuality is the same as every soul…love them so much that you will fight for their soul too. No judgement on lifestyle, but a realization that there is only one truth, one covenant promised by God, and we must keep our end of that covenant here on Earth in order to achieve Heaven. The homosexual lifestyle can never lead to the creation of new life, of the total gift of self to another, and therefore becomes about serving only self. Even if a homosexual couple marries and adopts, there is still the removal of a mother or a father in the household, replacing the Holy family as intended with a version not established by God. When we go against Gods plan we cannot find true joy, we cannot establish eternal life. The church wants to bring all of us home to Heaven, saint and sinner alike. Any one who teaches hate in the church is also coming from a place of fear and lies, but truth is not hate, truth is rooted in love.
Also, anytime a man abuses a boy, at any age, it is homosexual in nature.
Moira
Megan,
Thank you for sharing these insights. Yes, anybody who speaks in a cruel or hateful way about people living this lifestyle is coming from a place of fear and lies — and truth is rooted in love. And we could also say the reverse of that: love is rooted in truth. We need truth to be loving and we need love to be truthful. May God give us greater love for all people and enlighten our minds with the truth, because the truth will set us free.
Jenna
It is disgusting to say that homosexuality is associated with abuse because it is 2 people of the same sex. Okay, so a child molester man abusing a little girl ….what would you call that? They have NOTHING to do with each other. That was the ORIGINAL point I was making. Also, how exactly did “Christ” define homosexuality? I’d like to know. The Bible says many things about women being property too. Did Christ say something in particular about “same sex attraction” (which is a title demeaning in and of itself) And because 2 people cannot create a child it shouldn’t be felt, lived, experienced, or respected? Many couples do not create children. And look at all the “single” moms that do. When did Christ say any of this?? Oh and wow, how lovely that you’d fight for the soul of a “homosexual”…..how big of someone. Let’s put it another way: we should find for “black souls” just the same. Is that supposed to be some sort of amazing thing? Why even mention it? God created a man and woman to create life, correct? Please tell me why he created gay children, teenagers, YOUNG men and women that are often incredible human beings? Please be careful of the indirect shame that is constantly put upon them. Watch the words used. Abuse is considered homosexual? The ignorance here………………what if your child was gay and read all of this? Ask yourself if that would make sense.
Moira
Jenna,
I am posting your reply to Megan, though I’m not sure if she will see it.
I will say that it isn’t fair to make assumptions about another person commenting, as if we know their situation. We should all give everybody the benefit of the doubt on why they are saying something. I am sure Megan was saying it in love and I am sure you are saying what you are saying in love, too. I think we have to look to God to ask what is the proper response — the one rooted in truth and love — and do that to the best of our abilities.
I can speak though about the words “same sex attracted” in the context that I used them. I use those words because “gay” or “homosexual” seems to indicate a lifestyle choice — which the stats I was summarizing did not define if these were actively “gay” men. I specifically used those words because I didn’t want to imply all gay men were abusers. I thought that was the charitable way to draw the distinction and not to color all gay men as abusers. Oh well, I tried. Clearly you don’t like that term.
Also, on another note, if somebody would refer to me as a “heterosexual” in conversation, I would be slightly insulted because I am so much more than my sexual orientation. I am a daughter of God, a wife, a mother, a daughter and a sister and even that doesn’t begin to touch on who I am in God’s eyes.
We live in an over-sexualized culture that thinks it’s okay to define a man, woman or child primarily in sexual terms — but we are so much more than our sexual desires or orientation. That is a part of who we are, but it doesn’t define the entirety of who we are.
We are all human beings made in the image and likeness of God — all of us — no matter our sexual orientation. We all have the same call to live a life of holiness and of love and God wants all of us to enjoy Heaven with Him forever.
Why must we water down the human person to their sexual urges? I’m sorry but I think that is insulting and that is why I used the words “same sex attracted” in my post.
I am sorry if that term offended you, but I have spent time with “gay” men and women who preferred that term and so that is why I use it. Clearly you prefer other terms, but let’s just say I know God loves them and I am sure He calls them by their name, not their sexual orientation.
God bless you. I truly mean that. Thank you for sharing your heart.
Jenna
I understand now that you explained where you are coming from. Thank you. My feathers get beyond easily ruffled on the topic because it would deeply hurt our child who identifies as a gay young woman. And YES, she is so much more than that, and so dignified, and intelligent, and strong. At 11 she knew who she was, so any time there is a negative inference (or I sense one, even if I’m misjudging) I fight it. Mother bear comes out. I have left he Catholic Church because of this after being catholic for 40 years. You make sense to me though, so thank you. I just don’t share in the overall catholic views.
Moira
Jenna,
If I wasn’t knee deep in trying to get babies to bed, I’d have more time to respond. But let me just say thank you for sharing that with me and trusting that this was a safe place to do that! I do feel grateful and hope you always know that you are always welcome to comment (and even disagree — I appreciate different points of view). I know it’s the internet but I see the loving momma on the other side of those comments you made and I hope you see the same on my part.
If I had the time I’d share about one of the sweetest, the kindest saints of a priest I have ever met. The way he reconciled upholding his faith and loving people who identified as gay was truly beautiful. I have seen that it is possible to uphold Church teaching and to love people right where they are. Maybe it will be a post one of these days. He taught me a lot.
I realize that there are different positions that Christians take on this matter, and I hope that this can be a place where we can grow in greater understanding of each other and come to a place of mutual love and respect. Thank you for taking the time to comment.
Please pray for me and I’ll be praying for you and your family. We have to help each other along this road called life, now don’t we?
God bless your night!
Jenna
Moira,
I was thinking the same thing on my own time when I was doing something totally random the other day. I realized that I could tell how kind and open-hearted you are just through your words on a computer screen. I too can tell how devoted and loving you are as a mother, and most of all, how hard you search to decide what is true and good. THAT SEARCH (for lack of a better way to put it….I too am being pulled in different kid directions) is always what draws me to people the most. No one has all the answers, but I love when someone REALLY digs deep to be find the most loving position on a matter. Thank you again for your articulate and much appreciated explanation. I have a long way to go. I will continue reading (and commenting).
Jenna