Remedies for Sorrow and what the Saints Had to Say About It.

On this side of Heaven, we are going to have sadness and sorrow — it’s inevitable — but the Church and the Saints that have gone before us have much to say about sorrow and a gloomy disposition. I figured since half the world has gone a little cray-cray, maybe it’s a good time to share some simple thoughts for keeping the “gloom” at bay.

As somebody who is naturally a bit on the melancholic side of the temperaments, I have benefited from approaching those tendencies with a consistent prayer life and by gaining practical wisdom from the great minds that we are blessed to have in the Church.

We also can’t ignore the fact that sadness, spiritual dryness or even spiritual darkness that is beyond our control can actually be quite sanctifying and even be quite a powerful offering to God. Just look at Mother Teresa of Calcutta, who experienced almost 50 years of a profound spiritual darkness — and yet, her work and ministry was incredibly fruitful around the world. So don’t ever underestimate the age old adage to “offer it up” when it comes to sorrows that come our way.

Having said that, I don’t believe we should just “sit in our sorrow” and in fact, I think we have a duty to try to resist and even overcome our sorrow through prayer and simple methods that help keep melancholy at bay.

Besides, being a joyful witness to the Gospel is way more effective than walking around like a Greek tragedy, am I right?

As Teresa of Avila once said,

“From silly devotions and sour-faced saints, good Lord, deliver us!”

She also gave instruction to her nuns that really pushed against gloominess. In her opinion, there was much damage done when the sisters were left to sit in their sorrow.

“A sad nun is a bad nun … I am more afraid of one unhappy sister than a crowd of evil spirits … What would happen if we hid what little sense of humor we had? Let each of us humbly use this to cheer others.”

And then you have St. Thomas Aquinas who gave very practical advice for those sad and gloomy days that will come on this side of Heaven.

I have found Thomas Aquinas 5 remedies for sorrow to be really helpful over the years. It’s amazing how simple they are — considering the brilliance of Aquinas — but perhaps the simplest remedies are the best remedies at the end of the day.

The quote above has been attributed to Aquinas but it’s really not a direct quote of his — rather a summation of the 5 remedies he describes and other sources from the Summa — but I think it is a nice summation. So we’ll go with it.

So, I thought I’d share them with you. Hope they help to brighten up the gloomy days that might come your way.

In no particular order, here are the five remedies according to St. Thomas Aquinas for sorrow:

1. A simple pleasure.  Simplified to “wine” in the quote attributed to St. Thomas above, but though he never put the remedies together in a simple sentence, Aquinas did write about the value of wine. Aquinas said “wine is good for the soul insofar as it cheers the heart of man.” (Summa Theologiae III.74.1) I admit, it’s a little bit of a leap to use wine, instead of “any simple pleasure”, but perhaps it’s because the modern day understanding of the word “pleasure” tends to be grouped in with sexual sins or to any good thing enjoyed to excess. Wine seems like a good solution to the problem when trying to come up with one pithy quote that wouldn’t confuse the Saints intention. At the end of the day, whether it be a glass of wine or chocolate or listening to a beautiful piece of music — these little pleasures can really help take our focus from a sorrow in our life and remind us of all the good and beautiful gifts God has made for our enjoyment. On a sad day, put those good little pleasures to good use.
2. Weeping. Gotta say, I am not a big cryer, but I can see how sometimes simply crying it out is a really simple way to let the pain and sorrow go. So, don’t hold those tears back. Cry to your hearts content.
3. Sharing our sorrow with friends. Seriously, where would we be without our friends and family? How would we get through the tough times without a good friend or supportive spouse by our side? Pray for good friends and strive to be a good friend, too. Friendship really is so important.
4. Contemplation of Truth. I love diving into philosophy and theology and am always am in the middle of a good book, and maybe that’s my natural way to keep my spirits high. I tend to choose books that aren’t full of darkness, but of light, and I tend to choose books that highlight the truth of who we were created to be and the good, the true and the beautiful in our world. Personally, I couldn’t finish Brothers Karamazov — a classic, but it just felt like torture — or maybe I needed some vodka. Ha, ha. Anyway, choose literature or movies or conversations that lift your soul to the greater truths in life and leave you feeling hopeful. Sensitive souls especially need to take this one to heart.
5. A Warm Bath and a Nap. Seriously amazing the perspective you can gain from a relaxing bath and a good old fashioned nap. In general, I would say getting enough sleep is a great way to keep proper perspective about the challenges we face. An exhausted brain just can’t handle “one more thing” and therefore tends to make a peaceful response much more difficult. You now have permission from St. Thomas Aquinas to take that bath or run away for a nap. He’s a doctor of the Church, so he must be on to something! 🙂

Personally, I would add four more “remedies” to this list in the form of lifestyle changes that are extremely helpful: exercise, nutrition, avoiding bad media and a consistent life of prayer.

It is amazing how that little kick of energy and the happy feelings that comes with exercise can lighten one’s mood and help us to gain perspective again.

It is also clear that so many of us are not getting the required nutrition from the foods we eat, and we need to be caring for these temples of the Holy Spirit by choosing nutrient dense foods, avoiding refined sugars and even choosing supplements to fill in the gaps. Don’t neglect the nutritional needs that can deeply affect our moods.

What we read and watch also deeply effects us. Be very careful what you put in your mind, because it will affect you and it’s very hard to forget those things we ought not to have watched or read. Same thing for news. I say, immerse yourself in the good news and forget all that bad news. You really only need about 10 minutes a week to be truly informed. The rest is just about anger and rage and really won’t help you see the good around you.

Finally, we pray because God deserves our time and attention. It is truly right and just to pray! Having said that, slowly over time prayer has changed me, and for the better. I am way more hopeful than I ever was in my 20’s. Seriously, how is that possible? Must be God.

I have also noticed that a consistent prayer life over the years has helped to temper my melancholic tendencies, and even channel them towards a more contemplative prayer life –so I guess you could say my melancholic leanings have been a blessing in disguise.

Having witnessed how they have have ultimately drawn me closer to Christ in my own life — I can see why God would allow for these tendencies in a soul. So, be of good cheer, all you melancholic souls, God only allows these things because they can bring about a greater good in our life! Let’s let our sorrows or melancholic tendencies draw us closer to Christ. Enough said.

Hope this is helpful. Do your best, offer it up and leave the rest in the hands of God.

Have a beautiful weekend!