The Elephant in the Room…An Honest look at NFP (Part 2)

This post won’t fully make sense without reading part 1.  So click here for Part 1, and then come back here.

I realize that a post like this might make somebody feel guilty about their choices in life.  That is not the goal of this post — not at all.

There is absolutely zero value in beating yourself up over choices you have made in the past!  We all need to make peace with our past, go to Confession when necessary, and move on.

That being said, we have to address the elephant standing in the room right now.  It’s a big elephant, worth billions of dollars, around the world — so you can imagine there’s a lot of people benefitting from this elephant who don’t want us to know the truth about it.

This elephant take various forms, but I figured I’d stick to arguably the most popular form, “the pill”, i.e. oral contraceptives.

Did you know that the pill has been classified by the World Health Organization’s International Agency on Cancer Research (IARC) as a Type 1 Carcinogen?!  That’s right — it’s right up there with asbestos and diesel fumes.

Yep, that miracle pill, touted as the path to women’s liberation has actually been found to significantly increase breast cancer and cervical cancer in the women who use them.

That same pill, being pushed on women as part of their “health” plans, is tantamount to chewing on asbestos shingles or sucking down the exhaust from a semi.

I don’t know about you, but I try to avoid things like that.

I mean, I work hard to try to buy meats and dairy that aren’t pumped full of chemicals and hormones — so why the hell would I turn around and take a pill every morning that is chocked full of them?

Somebody, please tell me where the healthcare is in that?!

And I hate to have to go there, but one of the ways the pill works is that it allows conception to happen — a human life is present — but it makes the uterus like a dry desert in which no human life can live.

It baffles the mind, ladies, and we have been sold a bill of goods that includes our destruction and the destruction of others around us — or at the very least, we are left without our breasts and cervix because men need sex on demand.

Hate to say it, but it’s true.  We have been asked to swallow that pill (quite literally), or those men aren’t going to get what they want.

And you know what, there was actually a birth control pill for men. In fact, back in the day, the first attempt at contraception was a male contraceptive.

The problem was — how can I put this delicately? — there happened to be the unwanted side effect of some shrinkage in the subjects.

The scientists unanimously agreed that men wouldn’t go for it — they wouldn’t take it — so they turned their attention to women.

You know what happened in those early trials for women’s contraception?  Women actually died — like, dead as a doornail — and the scientists agreed they were on to something!  They just tweaked the dosage and said it would have to do.

The truth is, women bear the burden of a culture that says we have to subject our bodies to harmful chemicals and hormones — things we know cause cancer, a lowering of libido, excess weight gain, depression and a plethora of other conditions.

This is not freedom for women — this is freedom for men — and it shocks me when I see “feminists” touting birth control as our right and privilege.

Honey, it’s not our right and privilege — it’s our death sentence!

And to the predatory men and parasitical organizations who stand to benefit from women’s use of the pill — who just want us to shut up, swallow that pill, and sing it’s praises while we’re at it — I’m not buying it!

And when I say “buying” — you better believe I mean it, because there’s a heck of a lot of people making a heck of a lot of money out of shoving that crap down our throats.

On the other hand, who makes money off of NFP?  Nobody.  That’s right.  It doesn’t cost a penny.

To be clear – I’m willing to admit that most people using the pill or encouraging others to use it are probably doing it with good intentions. It’s understandable.

We’ve all been hearing how amazing the pill was since we were young, how responsible we were to use it, even — but even our best intentions can’t reverse the real damage that is being done by it.

The truth is the truth, and I firmly believe the truth will set us free — so that’s why I am sharing this.

And we see the results of this contraceptive mentality.  It’s all around us.  We see women showing up at abortion clinics — alone — no men to support them.  Sure there are exceptions to the rule, but in general, this is the woman’s “problem”.

We see the #metoo movement of “powerful” women who have been used and abused and pushed into horrific acts because men who have the ability to eliminate the evidence through abortion and contraception are free to prey on these women who are just trying to pursue their dreams.

We see women being attacked on campuses, a rise in overall disrespect for women, women trafficked, and the abuse and objectification of women at all levels and in all corners of society.

It would be a pretty bleak picture — if that’s all that we see in society.  It really would.

But that’s not what I see.  Let’s talk for a minute about the upside of NFP.  Let’s talk about what it does for a man.

A man who is practicing NFP is disciplining himself to sometimes say no to his own desires, for the sake of the well-being of the woman he loves.

He is training himself to recognize that love involves sacrifice.  He is learning to think of others before himself.

Now that’s true love, and I get to encounter that kind of love on a regular basis.

Every month a conversation happens around this house.  It is a conversation in which John and I discuss together whether or not we should go forward and actively try for another baby.

These are important conversations to have.

When we have those monthly conversations, I can honestly say I feel like John always chooses me and the family, above his own needs.

I feel cherished and respected.  I do not in any way feel oppressed by him.

The truth is, NFP has made John a better man, and our entire family has benefited from it.

I have to clear up a little confusion concerning NFP.  Some people think you can either be open and generous when it comes to having children, or you can practice NFP.

The Church doesn’t believe it is an either/or relationship.  She believes it can and should be a both/and approach.  It’s entirely possible to be open to life and the children God has in mind for us and to practice NFP.

Let’s be honest, most of us will never be 100% “ready” for another baby, but NFP helps us to successfully walk that fine line of believing God’s grace can make us ready, while respecting that God is not necessarily asking us to have as many children as is physically possible.

Practicing NFP is about respecting the physical, emotional and spiritual demands pregnancy and places on a couple and prayerfully weighing those things when approaching the prospect of another baby.

God has given us a natural method (NFP) that is as effective as artificial contraception in spacing children — all the while respecting the sexual act and the dignity of the other person.

It keeps the procreative and the unitive aspects of sex united — it’s about keeping it real, people.

Maybe you are just starting off, and you are thinking, “Well I’m going to try to have as many kids as possible.  I don’t need to know NFP” — well that’s awesome, but I still think it’s worth knowing about your own fertility.

You might even have trouble conceiving a child, and a better understanding of your own fertility could help you achieve a pregnancy. Another benefit of NFP, often overlooked.

But let’s just be honest for a minute, life with littles can be very demanding. Sometimes a little space between babies might be all we need to joyfully continue loving the children we already have and prepare ourselves for future children.

It’s so much better to take a little time for your own mental and physical health, rather than walking around your house like a Greek Tragedy, looking at your kids and spouse in a constant state of being overwhelmed and thinking they’re the enemy to your happiness — that’s not good for anybody!

God only made you fertile a few days out of the month — just maybe He did that because He knew a little breathing room can be a very good thing for a family.

At the same time, both John and I agree that kids are amazing and of all the gifts we could give to the kids we already have, the very best gift would be another sibling.

With knowledge comes responsibility.  Ultimately, NFP should be rooted in an intimate prayer life with God.

Allowing Him to lead you, trusting that His plan is always the best — it’s not always easy to let go of trying to control everything.  But you won’t regret it.

Buckle up.  It just might be a bumpy ride, but it won’t ever be boring. That I can promise you!

To learn more about practicing NFP go here.  To learn more about what the church says about it, start here.

Come Back Next Week for the Conclusion.

 

Sharing over at Kelly’s