Why We Travel With Our Kids

Summer is here and the living is easy. It’s time to start thinking about your next family adventure. Yeehaw!

Don’t get me wrong. There is most definitely a time and a place for couple getaways and weekends with friends — but what if you began to see your family as the best partners in any travel adventure?

Please note that I didn’t say they are the best partners in a relaxing or spa-like getaway — no, no, no — anybody who has ever traveled with a bunch of kids knows you will likely come home exhausted and ready for another vacation.

So get words like “relaxation” and “spa-like” out of your heads when you have under 6’s in the mix.

Instead, let us look to the Tale of Two Cities for our family vacation inspiration:

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times…It was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”

Charles Dickens

That’s right, people. Family vacations are the best and worst of times — but darn it if those best of times don’t make the worst of times on any trip worth it in the end!

Because deep down (sometimes really, really deep down), adventure is what we seek, and there is no doubt that traveling with kids brings loads of adventures along the way.

I’m not even saying that they are always good adventures — but what I am saying is that they are always chocked full of bonding moments and, if you can muster up a little bit of perspective, even your misadventures will supply hilarious memories for years to come.

Think about it, all great stories involve conflict, things that go horribly wrong and people being pushed to their physical and emotional limits — what better way to describe a family vacation?

What if you began to look at every family vacation is a great story just waiting to begin?

They also have the added benefit of providing more suffering and hardship than most treks up the Himalayas — so you Catholics reading this have the added benefit of all that grace gained through suffering. Yippee!

Which is also why John and I decided a few years back that all our family trips will henceforth be referred to as “pilgrimages” — might as well maximize on all that grace-filled turmoil that is inevitable on a family vacation.

We haven’t always traveled as a family, but God made it abundantly clear from the beginning that our family was meant to travel together to places near and far.

Take the first time John and I took a big trip away from our kids as an example.

We said goodbye and excitedly took off for Northern Ireland on a business trip — just the two of us!

It was an amazing whirlwind of gardens and sightseeing and feeling like adults again.

My parents also graciously agreed to take care of our 4 children at the time. Free child-care no less! What could be better?

That carefree feeling didn’t last long. The first night of our arrival, I received a phone call from my father asking me if water usually drips out of our ceiling.

I answered, “Um, no Dad, water doesn’t usually drip out of our ceiling”.

To which he replied, “Okay, I have to call you back.” Not the words you want to hear.

Long story short, one of our children (who shall remain nameless) turned the shower nozzle away from our tub, turned the water on and we soon discovered the amazing amount of damage water can do in a short amount of time.

Let’s just say we didn’t save any money or stress by leaving them behind.

Even if you don’t have disasters like that happen, there is so much preparation in getting ready to leave your kids, that I almost always end up deathly sick by the end of my getaways.

On that same trip to Northern Ireland, I came back with strep throat. I once had a chance to attend a conference in Rome on my own and I ended up with walking Pneumonia by the end of it.

All those years I thought my kids were killing me on family vacations, and it turns out they were keeping me healthy. Imagine that!

John and I have interpreted this as God’s way of telling us that for our family, traveling together is entirely possible and even preferable.

But it has meant that we need to be smart about how to go about traveling as a family without breaking the bank.

My first word of advice is to determine how much cash flow you have for your family adventure and then make your plans based on that. Don’t take out loans or carry credit card balance to make it happen.

This might mean passing on replacing the 16 year old carpet (guilty as charged) or reupholstering the favorite chair that looks like it’s been eaten by a wild pack of dogs (also guilty as charged — and we don’t have dogs!).

It also might mean doing some legwork and making some sacrifices while you travel: choosing reasonably priced apartments over hotels, buying food from markets for many of your meals and finding ways to quickly accumulate miles or points to pay for portions of your trip.

Honestly many of those “sacrifices” actually provide for more enjoyable vacations and immersion into the culture around you.

Staying in an apartment has the added benefit of a far better feel for how people actually live in those cities.

Opting for an apartment provides far more interaction with the locals as you buy your food and wine from the markets, hang out in the playgrounds, and attend masses, as well.

So don’t feel as if you are missing out because you can’t hang out at that fancy resort — real life and beautiful interactions are just waiting for you as you navigate the city like a local would.

Lest you think adventure only comes to those who travel to far off places, I would recommend you consider exploring your own neck of the woods when time and budget is tight.

You may be surprised at the diversity and adventures that abound within hours of your own home.

There is a real education waiting for you when you decide to step out of your normal environment and explore the world around you.

A simple hike outdoors or overnight in a campground is another amazing way to be inspired as a family on a relatively tight budget — so don’t forget to explore the beauty around you.

Speaking of education, long ago, John and I decided that travel would be an important part of our homeschooling model.

We didn’t just want to teach our kids about Michelangelo, we wanted to allow them to see his actual works — see the veins hewn from marble, witness the inside jokes of the Sistine chapel, and stand in awe of the David.

We also wanted to prepare our kids to take on the unexpected setbacks that will happen in life — no matter how hard they try to control everything.

Having wallets stolen, missing flights and facing the unforeseen difficulties are an awesome education in themselves.

Traveling teaches kids (and their parents) resilience, determination, how to trust your instincts when things don’t quite seem right, and how to let go of trying to control everything.

You simply have to learn to adapt and to let go of control or you won’t make it to the end of the trip with a shred of sanity left.

Another big positive of travel is our kids have learned the beauty of our faith.

We always make a pilgrimage sight a part of our travels — any church, shrine or basilica will do.

Experiencing a deep and abiding connection with Catholics from around the world, regardless of language barriers or cultural differences, is something you just have to experience to understand.

To walk into a Catholic Church anywhere in the world and to feel completely at home is an experience we have all benefited from because of our travels.

Finally, John and I travel with our kids because we want them to know that — contrary to popular belief — life doesn’t end with kids. Nope!

Kids don’t squash your dreams. Sure, sometimes they change them a bit — but who doesn’t need a little shake up of our dreams so that the real ones rise to the top?

In fact, as crazy as my family makes me at times, the very best moments of my life have been with them at my side.

I honestly believe traveling with kids will sweeten every adventure, increase the laughs and lighten the load as you travel to places, both near and far, with your ragamuffins by your side.

So what are you waiting for? To your next family adventure! Hooray!

Sharing over at Kelly’s