May, You Haven’t Killed Me Yet, So You Can Stop Trying.

May hasn’t killed me yet, how about you? True, there were a few minutes when I thought I was done for, but this isn’t my first May rodeo, and I’ve learned a few things about surviving May — more often than not, the hard way.

According to the internet, that basically makes me an expert and a certified life coach, so I figured I’d share a few things I’ve learned along the way.

Hopefully, it will help somebody out there to not only survive a month like May, but possibly even find yourself thriving in the busiest times of your life.

Yes, it is possible, and here are three easy steps to making all your dreams come true (or at the very least, to finding yourself alive and relatively well at the end of it.)

First of all, if you are to survive a month like May, you absolutely must learn the very important art of a sincere apology.

Trust me on this one, because you will likely forget events, appointments, birthday parties and RSVP’s galore.

It is the nature of the beast, and the sooner you learn to make a quick apology for your many missteps during the Month of May, the better off you will be.

As an aside, while apologizing, I have learned the hard way to never refer to your complete failure to remember to bring that dish or attend that gathering as a “holy amnesia” gifted to you by God Himself.

Apparently, it lead can lead to hurt feelings or angry responses from those who were relying upon you to keep your crap together in this month.

Yes, you and I and all those who have experienced their own “holy amnesia” can refer to it as such when discussing amongst ourselves, but when making your apologies to those you failed, best to leave that part out of it.

Just keep your gratitude to God (for completely forgetting that thing that would literally have pushed you over the edge) to yourself and take full responsibility for your failings.

Trust me on this point.

Once you have mastered the art of a sincere apology — with zero references to “holy amnesia”, of course — it is now time to turn your attention to learning to be honest with yourself and the people around you.

This one is crucial.

So many Mays I used to just push myself to keep going — keep striving for an absolutely impossible pace that was completely unsustainable — only to discover I had become a shell of the person I once was, no good to anybody around me.

These are low moments in our lives. They are moments where we stare in mirrors and ponder where we went wrong.

They are moments when we discover we are most definitely not the best version of ourselves — in fact, we might possibly be the worst version of ourselves.

Before you allow yourself to wallow in self-pity and self-loathing, you just stare back at yourself in the mirror and say two very important words: “Never Again”.

“Never again will I fail to allow myself any margin for error. Never again will I rely upon my own strength and try to muscle through life without time for reflection.”

These are good moments, because they remind us that we can not possibly “do it all” — doing it all, at the same time, is impossible — and instead, we must resolve to do only what is necessary.

Don’t fall into the trap of saying “yes” to every good thing. Instead, remind yourself of what is absolutely necessary and make that your priority.

This is where absolute honesty with yourself and others is necessary.

First, honesty with yourself: ask yourself “what” and, more importantly, “who” should be your priority?

Let’s start with the “Who?”. Who should be your priority? Well, in my opinion it should be God first, your husband and kids next — then everybody else.

I know, very controversial, but hear me out on this one.

Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten you in this priority list — that will come later in this post — but first let’s look at the most important relationships in your life.

So often in these busy times, we tend to give God and those closest to us our sloppy seconds and for some reason that person we see a few times a year gets our full, undivided attention.

Why do we do that?

In the busiest times, prayer often is shortened or eliminated altogether. It’s understandable considering you have so many other things on your plate, but don’t let your prayer commitments slide.

The only way you will survive these busy times with any amount of grace is by opening yourself up to receiving the strength and grace of God.

My one word of advice in busy times is to make sure you keep praying. If you don’t, things will most certainly unravel — you will unravel — and the recovery will be longer and more arduous than if you kept it up.

Besides, prayer give us the grace to prioritize our “to-do” lists.

Prayer gives us the grace to hug that toddler as long as they need to be hugged, to have that important conversation that wasn’t in the plan and to let go of the unnecessary things we thought were absolutely necessary before we sat down to pray.

This doesn’t mean that certain events or obligations won’t sometimes get priority over family time, but it does mean you will try your best to prepare your family for the busy season ahead and to tackle it together as a family.

This often means asking those closest to you for help and reminding them that many of these “fun events” and milestone moments require a lot more work on your part.

Learn to honestly recognize your own limitations and to ask the people around you for help.

Finally, know when to take a break. Find moments to break away from the noise and the busyness to just be and to allow yourself to be filled up again.

Prayer is a true break for me. I find my heart, mind and soul are refreshed after praying, but I also know that sometimes I just need to talk a quiet walk on my own, or drive off to a coffee shop, or for a meet up with a friend — heck, even time at the grocery store all on my own can be amazingly refreshing.

Just the other day, after a particularly exhausting week, my daughter asked to come with me on my errands.

I really wanted to say yes because I didn’t want her feelings to be hurt, but I had to honestly tell her that I needed a break, and I think it was good for her to hear that from me.

Not only did it lead to me feeling refreshed and ready to take on another busy week, but it meant that the next day, when that same daughter asked to go on a walk with me, I could say “yes” and mean it, and we had a beautifully fruitful conversation along the way.

I know that conversation would not have been so grace-filled the day before, people — I was completely running on fumes and had nothing left to give.

That simple act of honesty became a blessing for myself and my daughter.

So, if you are to survive May and the busy seasons of your life, don’t neglect your need for those little breaks. They will allow you to be filled up again so that you can actually help to “fill up” the people around you, as well.

It’s a win/win, people!

Don’t forget to plan breaks with your family as well. It is amazing what a simple break with family can do to make up for a crazy week where everybody was running in different directions.

Little breaks will keep that connection going with the most important people in your life.

Whether it be pizza around the dinner table, a hike on a Sunday, or a weekend away — whatever it is, just do it!

Well, that’s about it.

Hope this post helps to make all of your dreams come true. Here’s to surviving and thriving in the busiest seasons of our lives!

Hooray!

Sharing over at Kelly’s.