Bringing the Heart to the Home At Christmas

The phrase, “the woman is the heart of the home” may result in very different reactions, depending upon the circles you find yourself in.

Some women find the title offensive and belittling — while others are totally on board with it, and can’t figure out what all the fuss is about.

The truth is that our culture seems to value things like “heart” and “home-making” very little in comparison with job titles and worldly success.

It tells us a lot about how out-of-whack our priorities have become, but I totally understand the struggle to make peace with a term like “heart of the home” in the career-driven culture that surrounds us.

But take one minute and think about that term. “Heart” really indicates love and God has made it clear that we will be judged on love at the end of our lives — and only love.

Neither intellectual prowess nor business prowess nor social status is going to tip the scales of justice in our direction — only love can do that.

Hate to be a Debbie Downer, but one day we will die and we will have to make an account for our lives — if career and prestige and pleasure won out over love, then we better get used to the concept of burning in Hell for all of eternity.

Yep, I went there. I went there because God told us the road to Hell is wide and easy — and many end up there (Matthew 7).

I also went there because denying our hearts is no way to live our lives. Not only can it lead to Hell, it can lead to a Hell on Earth.

It’s time to get serious about resisting the pressure to reduce our humanity to “measurable” achievements and focus on bringing our hearts to the places we live and work and move.

It’s time to get serious about becoming who we were meant to be in this world.

The truth is that we were made for love — all that other stuff….jobs, careers, prestige and wealth….will mean nothing in the end.

They will mean less than nothing, really, if they actually caused us to neglect the primary relationships of our life.

Besides, it’s not as if being the Heart of the Home is a mutually exclusive reality that doesn’t allow for intelligence or skill or other pursuits.

John Paul II spoke extensively about the “Feminine Genius” and the many ways that a woman can live out that Genius in her own life.

Truly, there are as many ways to live out one’s genius as there are people in this world, but they all hold one thing in common: a Fiat to God, a resounding “yes” to the plans of our Heavenly Father.

The greatest Fiat the world has ever known was said by a young Jewish girl in Nazareth and that Fiat changed history — and for the better.

But her “yes” didn’t stop there.

It continued day after day and year after year. That continual “yes” influenced the way Mary set up her home and celebrated holy days and loved her friends and family.

It was in the care she put into making clothing and preparing meals, the effort she put into educating her Son, and in the countless other ways she sought to bring warmth and light to her home.

Part of being the Heart of the Home is in the details of our lives. It’s in the thought and meaning put into every action we take.

It is truly noble work — so noble that even years from now, your family and friends will remember the ways that you made your house a welcoming place that left no doubt that all who entered it and dwelled in it were loved.

What more noble pursuit can there be than letting people know how loved they are — by you and by God?

Women, in a very particular way, have a special charism to reflect the Love of God in their homes — they have a special gift of lifting up the downtrodden people of the world.

What if you chose to use your creativity and skills to create a home that helped people to encounter the Love of God?

Now that would be noble work, indeed!

I’m not talking about buying expensive furniture and filling your house with precious antiques — I’m talking about making your house a home.

What I love about Christmas is it is an amazing time to do just that.

I don’t care if you are in a rental or a “forever home” or something in between — Christmas provides an opportunity to get creative and make your dwelling place one of warmth and cheer.

And it doesn’t necessarily require loads of money. Free branches from the Christmas tree lot and pine cones from your own yard, a few yards of ribbon and you’re in business.

The only limit to what you can do is in the creativity you exercise in creating a warm and inviting space — and I love that about Christmas.

Even simple meals, with a few extras you don’t usually indulge in, can truly become a feast for the senses.

Gathering around a table and sharing a meal together is, in my opinion, the pinnacle of what it means to make a house a home.

“Breaking bread” is about sharing your heart with another.

As scripture says, it was in the breaking of the bread that they recognized Jesus. Yes, that Bread was actually the Eucharist — but our home table is also meant to provide an encounter with Christ.

Scripture tells us where two or more are gathered in His name, Christ is in their midst (Matt 18). So don’t underestimate the power of a simple prayer and sharing of a meal with others.

Put the phones away and begin conversations about things that really matter — and that means involving the littlest ones, too. They are usually happy just to listen in and offer a word or two and then play close by as conversations continue.

Lighting of the Advent wreath is the perfect backdrop for a shared meal and deeper conversations this time of year.

In the Christmas Season just add beeswax candles or all white candles and the Advent wreath becomes a great centerpiece for the Christmas Season.

And we can’t forget the gifts!

Full disclosure I am not a gift-giver by nature. It’s something I have to work on. Finding gifts are often a burden to me — but it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try to find thoughtful gifts and give them with love.

So I try my best.

There are countless other ways to make your house feel like a home this Christmas, and I suggest you find some traditions that you do every single year.

Your family will remember those little traditions and they bring warmth and a connection to Christmas’s gone by, as well.

As Catholics, tradition becomes the thread that weaves our years and lives together. So choose a few and keep those traditions alive!

I just love the familiarity of it all and I know my family loves it too.

I realize that many of the things of which I speak requires time to make it happen– and it seems that most of us are far too busy to add anything more to our plates.

The good news is that Advent is really about a slow ascent to the crescendo of Christmas.

Advent gives us time and permission to move slowly and to resist the pressure to move at a frantic pace.

There is zero pressure to have the tree up and gifts wrapped the day after Thanksgiving — in fact, it is kind of frowned upon to jump straight into Christmas.

Which is really good news for all of us with a lot on our plates!

This Sunday, the 3rd Sunday of Adent is “Joy Sunday” and it is the day we finally decorate our homes, raise the tree, put on some Christmas music, and prepare our homes.

We just love it and everybody knows that is the day we decorate, so there is no nagging or pressure to do anything before that.

It’s the perfect tradition for us!

Most importantly, to be the Heart of the Home is to pray for and think of the spiritual needs of the people in your home.

Work with your husband to find the time to get everybody to confession and — if you’re feeling adventurous — even adoration so you can really prepare your hearts for the coming of Christ this Christmas.

O come, let us adore Him!

That’s about it. Hope it has you thinking about your own traditions. A Blessed Advent to you!